Nearly every couple believes their marriage will last throughout their lives. In other words, very few people get married thinking their relationship won’t last the test of time. Unfortunately, divorce rates in the U.S. remain high. Millions of husbands and wives discover each year that staying together is more trouble than it’s worth.
If you and your spouse are experiencing challenges in your relationship, you might be considering getting a divorce. It’s a big step and will be followed by substantial changes in both of your lives. As such, it’s a decision that should be pondered carefully before rushing in. In the article that follows, we’ll help you through the process by presenting numerous issues to think about before deciding to divorce your spouse. We’ll begin by delving into the reasons you want to make a break in the first place.
Determining What Is Bothering You About Your Marriage
Think about the issues that exist between you and your spouse. For example, does your wife or husband contribute very little to the relationship? Do both of you argue incessantly, unable to find middle ground on things you disagree about? Do you suspect your spouse is having an affair?
Each couple is different. Realize that the problems that trouble your relationship may not present a huge obstacle to others. The important thing is to evaluate your marriage in light of your expectations and what you want from the person to whom you’re married. Only then can you make an objective decision regarding how to move forward.
If there is a chance that discussing issues with your spouse will lead to the changes you want, then do so. However, if you feel the issues cannot by resolved and the differences between you and your spouse cannot be reconciled, divorce may be the best solution.
Signs You And Your Spouse Are Heading For A Divorce
For many couples in jeopardy, there are telltale signs that indicate their relationship is headed for divorce. If you notice these signs in your own marriage, it’s time to take a close look at whether it is likely to last.
For example, you may have lost a great deal of respect for your spouse. Once it is lost, it is very difficult to regain. Another sign of trouble is that you feel your husband or wife has treated you poorly. This might involve egregious actions, such as physical or emotional abuse. It may also entail something subtler, such as belittling you in front of friends and family members.
Suppose you and your spouse have visited a marriage counselor, yet continue to deal with the same issues you confronted before attending the sessions. This may indicate you’re unable to reconcile your differences. As such, a divorce may be imminent.
How Might A Divorce Affect You And Your Children?
Getting divorced affects everyone involved in several ways. For example, the process is often expensive, particularly when the couple disagrees on major issues like child custody and property division. It may be necessary to litigate, which increases the cost substantially.
In addition, studies show that both parties tend to experience a decline in their respective standards of living following a divorce. This can occur for a number of reasons, such as paying child support and spousal support. It can also occur if the receiving spouse is unable to collect either type of support.
Divorce also impacts children shared by the divorcing couple. Studies show that children of divorced parents often underperform academically and are more open to taking risks. To that end, they are more likely to be involved in petty crime and to engage in alcohol and drug use. It is worth noting that past studies showing these outcomes do not indicate what will happen, but only what might happen. Much depends on the parents and their willingness to help their children make the transition.
What To Do When It’s Time To Call It Quits
If you and your spouse have exhausted your options while trying unsuccessfully to resolve your differences, it may be time to contact a divorce attorney. This individual will be able to provide advice and insight regarding the best path forward given your circumstances.
In the meantime, it is also a good idea to communicate with your spouse about seeking a divorce. If both of you can agree on major issues, it becomes much easier to negotiate a fair settlement without the need for a divorce trial. While a prolonged trial can cost several thousands of dollars, an uncontested divorce may cost a fraction as much.